​​​​​   P H I L I P P A  S K L A A R

My story 


 One of the reasons I co-wrote them was to short circuit other women’s journey. I didn’t want another woman to suffer like I did.  It's for this reason I created my non profit, The Women's Voice Project.


I was invited to co-write these books with my ex-therapist, Sue Hickey. Can you imagine what it felt like when she issued this invitation? From years of believing I was worthless, here was my EX-THERAPIST telling me that I had something worthwhile to say. I still tear up when I think about it.


Sue is a South African therapist who has been in private practice for thirty years. Together, we created the Relationship Blueprint that is guaranteed to work IF you work it. 

My first book, Hot Cuisine, was written about men and food. I named the men in my life after ingredients and the book is peppered with stories about them. One serious relationship I called 'Hamburger' because he could fill you up quickly but not with anything of substance or imagination. One my husbands I called 'Icicle' because everything about him was so chilling, brutal and unrelenting.

Food is so much more than fuel for the body - it is my labor of love. It still gives me enormous pride to present a plate of food that is beautiful to the eye, sustenance to the body and poetry to the taste buds.


When I immigrated to LA, I arrived with my pots and pans and miniature Yorkie. After 6 months I landed Elizabeth Taylor as my first client. I could not believe it! I did two of her Oscar dinners and her grandson's christening. 

It is with great pleasure to share my recipes with you.

Food for the soul - can anything be better?


 



The Kitchen Was My Sanctuary From Abuse

Tabletop Collection

I am passionate about cooking. For years the kitchen was my sanctuary. It was the place I escaped to lick my wounds from emotional abuse. 


What has food got to do with it?


So much! In the kitchen I was the master of my own mind. I could set to work on balance and flavor. Here my wayward mind became my servant and worked with me instead of against me. I knew I was competent in the kitchen and so when I stepped back from my delicious creation I was no longer worthless, stupid or crazy. It was the proof I needed to move forward with my life. Alchemy is always possible in the kitchen.  It was the place that silenced the echos of the emotional abuse . 


My feelings and my moods were often torment to me. A lot of women I know write when they feel like that. It is their way of 'getting it out and onto the page'. I cooked mine out. I had food for moods. When I was immensely sad I cooked certain meals and when I was mad I cooked other meals. Moods and flavors were my therapy.





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I was an extremely slow learner and it took three abusive marriages before I learned my lesson. 


​I​ experienced the full spectrum of dysfunction from abusers to narcissists to everything in between.  I was the queen of codependency. Until I took responsibility for my contribution to my relationship fiascos, I was destined to repeat the pattern.

I spent years searching for answers on how to heal, how to transform my life and how to live free from fear, pain and desperation.


I traveled the world, studied Kabbalah and even went to an ashram in India.  Everything I learned I condensed into a formula that is detailed in When Loving Him Hurts and The Affair.